Unemployment

Before I had a boyfriend
I spent too much of my life
Feeling desperate for a soul mate
Or a companion.
Life was on hold
Until there was someone special.

Not until I learned
To live and love life on my own --
To flirt and befriend
Did the breakthrough finally come
And someone special chose me.

So too with finding a new job.

It feels like life again is on hold.
Not a constant state of unhappiness like before
But still a day-to-day life
With insufficient structure
Tainted by a dull depressiveness
Too easily disrupted by an adverse event.

A good day, a bad day.
Gritting my teeth and focusing
On the next thing to try.

Putting myself out there.
Resumees, phone calls, interviews.
And the soul destroying silence afterwards.

A setback or little bit of adversity
Does not energize me.
Instead I feel a greater dis-inclination to press on.

I need a breakthrough.
A win I can build on.
Because, for me,
Success breeds confidence,
And confidence breeds success.

With people,
My breakghrough was
To quit worrying
And let my fun side shine through.

Because more than anything
Other people want to have fun.

What more than anything
Does my future employer want?
That is truly mine to give?

What must I do
Or not do,
To let that aspect shine through?


	16 May 2011 revised 6 August 2014
	by Bill Cattey