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My head is filled with a joyful haze.
My self doubt is in retreat.
Usually I feel this way
After satisfying sex.
Tonight it was
For a different reason.
Belatedly recognizing
Tonight was the anniversary
Of my coming out
I can't help but
Analyze and compare:
The original plan was
To hang out together
And maybe sing some songs,
But our rendez-vous place
Ended up sabotaging that plan.
The venue was loud and smoky;
Filled with drinking and dancing.
It was too similar to gay discos
That usually fill me with angst.
Abandoned plans
And an unpleasant place
Filled with dancing men
Most of them straight.
Is usually a recipe
For sexual frustration.
The experience tonight was
Totally platonic
Yet totally ecstatic.
I was dancing
And I was drinking
With the gods of a cappella.
Their treatment of me
As a welcome guest and a new friend.
Was quietly, yet profoundly affirming
In a life-changing way.

22 October 2000 revised 25 March 2002

by Bill Cattey