1. Loneliness
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What is loneliness?
Sitting in a hotel room far from home.
It is unusually large and luxurious.
I wish there were someone
To watch the second TV while I watch the first.
To boil in the jacuzzi with me.
To cuddle with in the big bed.
Walking through the streets in a city far from home.
I pass smiling strangers.
But my thoughts and feelings gravitate to desires
That cannot be fulfilled.
Beyond a smile returned and a passing word,
I want an entry
That grows into conversation --
To a meeting of minds
To agreement
To returning to my hotel room
And having a meeting of bodies.
I want to touch souls.
Walking along the river in that selfsame city.
Many open-air restaurants overflowing with revellers.
I dine alone.
Or with a colleague to discuss business.
There's nobody to hold hands with
Or gaze into the eyes of.
I have no guess as to how I'd find such a one.
Sitting on an airplane on the way home.
One seat forward and to the right contains a boy.
I want to lick him all over,
But I have the strong impression
That he'd not approve of my fantasy.

6 June 2000

by Bill Cattey