Habits

I fear getting stuck in a rut.
So much so that I avoid
Getting good at things I might not enjoy.

I have a near phobia
Of doing the same thing twice.

Unless that thing
Crossed over into my obsessions.
I'm not sure how it got there
But now I own it
And can't let go.

I guess it was a choice
But it doesn't feel like a choice.

I've gotta break out of this cycle
Of decisions based on avoidance
And failure to disown.

The way out?

Redefine the defaut embodying a habit as
        Default -- A pre-made choice
Instead of
        Default -- Failure to meet an obligation.

Embrace habit as a tool
An action adopted to make the work of life easier.

Maybe then the unpleasant will take a smaller slice of life.

With habit as tool
Save the energy formerly spent:
        Running away.
Agonizing over decisions.
Hating the disruption of a surprise.
Spend it on
And pruning away obligations heretofore found
By default risking default.

Start with the first new habit:
A tool not a default.


	6 July 2014 (unfinished)
	by Bill Cattey