Fandom RenunciatePerformer:one who has mastered certain skills to create a special experience for an audience. Audience: a group of persons who create an environment that nurtures a performance. Fan: a former member of an audience deeply affected by a performance who can sometimes become annoying. I'm a fan. And I'm rather uncomfortable about it. Perhaps one day I'll be a performer. But right now all I have Is enough sense of a performance To be deeply moved by it. I know what it's like to be Accosted By an enthusiastic viewer of something I have done. Sometimes it's gratifying. They got it! What they heard was what I meant. Other times it gets annoying. I've experienced 'The drooling fan.' The enthusiasm is nice If there weren't quite so much of it. If only that aspect that made Such a big difference to that drooling fan Was something I'd worked hard on or intended to put there. If only they could appreciate what I value in my work. If only they could calm down and move on. I find fans annoying. I don't know how other people Can cope with them. That's why I feel so awkward Being such a fan of your work. I'd much rather be a performer And talking as an equal. But I sure don't feel like an equal. Thank you for treating me More like an equal than a fan. Everyone starts somewhere, I guess. Even me. |
| 28 October 2000 (unfinished) revised 20 August 2006 | |
| by Bill Cattey |