Design for Loving

Engineering is my calling.
My job is:
      Analyzing and understanding,
      Crafting solutions, and
      Making detailed explanations.

A lot of the time
My explanations:
      Are not understood.
      Are not believed!

They do not make sense
To people who lack
Details, background, or context.

Sometimes I am alone
In my understanding.
And intimidated by the effort
Required to rendez-vous
With another.

Habits of mind
That serve me well
As an engineer
Affect my attitudes
Towards people.

By reflex:
      I analyze.
      I systematize.
      I generalize.
      I idealize.

My hopes and desires
Even my vision of myself
End up rather complex,
Maybe a bit odd,
Sometimes requiring explanation
Before they make sense.

Sometimes here too
I am alone
In my understanding.
And intimidated by the effort
Required to rendez-vous
With another.

With you,
I did not have to strain
      To translate,
      To explain,
      To justify,
      To be believed.

You surprised me
With how easy it was
For me to make sense to you --
As if you'd been there yourself.
It felt like proof
That I am not alone!

In my work
And in my heart
I'd spent so long
In solitary confinement:
      Not being understood.
      Not being believed.

It makes perfect sense:

I fell in love with you
Because you paid attention to me.
You listened;
And you understood.

In my experience,
You are indeed
A rare and precious person.


	4 May 2002
	by Bill Cattey