David

        I

From the moment I saw you
I wanted you.
Milky white skin.
And I usually prefer a tan.
Green eyes.
I thought I could only get lost in black eyes.

But your chest.
The way your naked body stood,
I was hooked.

Kind.
A man of integrity.
Curious.
Looking for new experiences.
I'd like very much
To be a partner in your explorations.

        II

I remember one day.
I sat naked
Next to where you stood
Also naked.
Just come from the bushes, you had.
A drip of water still there.
I wanted to collect it
On my finger
To my mouth
And have a tiny bit of you
In me.

        III

I fear to ask for anything.
That I have nothing to offer.
There you are.
Here I am.

I want it to be us.
But I think you're not interested.
Would that I could captivate you
As you have me.

Should I say anything?
Tell you how I feel.
Would it make any difference?
A difference for the better?

If all you want
Is friendship
Will I be able to accept that?

        IV

At first it was difficult
To be in your presence
And keep my wits about me.

At the pool
I would admire you from afar.
Then walk up and pretend
To be nonchalant
Engaging you in conversation.

Then I'd go
A ways away
And give myself a rest.

       V

Eventually I learn
To calm down when I'm around you.
We go to the theater together
And have a good time.
But I still harbor strong feelings.

We keep in touch
Occasionally.
And have pleasant and interesting
Telephone conversations.

Finally I gather my nerve,
"I have strong feelings for you.", I say.
You thank me for saying so calmly.
You are polite,
But you don't have feelings for me.

        VI

We drift out of touch.
I find romance
With someone else.

We meet again.
I see you differently.
It is so clear
You have objectives
Exploratory
But without attachment.

Very Zen
But not what I'm looking for.
Polite acquaintances
We will remain.

It feels right
To me as well.


	3 December 1998 revised 16 February 2000
	by Bill Cattey