ConsumedTo be consumed:By work. By romance. By another person. I remember Looking for a job: Afraid of being stuck In "just a job", I sought and found One that would consume me. I was there For fifteen years Before I thought to ask, "Is being consumed What I really want?" "Intense" Is the one-word Description of me That most of my friends Would agree is a fit. When there was a job to do Or a friend in need I never gave a second thought To the risk of being consumed. When friends of mine Worked through strong emotions I was right there with them. It bothered me Deeply and subtly That not enough others Would do the same for me. I became fearful that Nobody valued me enough To risk being consumed By a relationship with me. The fear of being consumed: I've only recently realized Is a much bigger issue For other people Than it has been for me. Not some hidden failing of mine, Or some secret malice of theirs, It's a differing viewpoint That has been the motivation All this time. To be consumed: I guess I've pursued it. While others ran from it. It does seem that So many failed relationships Were a struggle Over being consumed. I've been demanding That the other person join in And get consumed. But relationships are About give and take Not about being consumed. Relationships are A rich, beautiful, complex space, Where trust, interest, and intensity Are all factors. Knowing that it's about viewpoint, Not about you, and not about me, I can frame A conversation A negotiation A participation A satisfaction. At last I transcend My old, limiting, viewpoint Centered on being consumed. |
| 28 February 2002 | |
| by Bill Cattey |